May it adorn me with it’s sun
Make me shine like a penny
Let’s walk many streets
And love, oh so many!
May it drop me a beat Help me take steps towards my dreams May it foster new hopes
And build new teams!
Like Scruff McGruff
May it take a bite out of crime
Bring swords and make peace
During this time
Let’s go to Austin and listen to live music!
Let’s go to bed; I’ll praise You while I sleep
Let’s sing karaoke with no care in the world
Let’s laugh, laugh, laugh
Way more than we weep
May it cheer me on!
And bring great support
May it say hello to new ventures
And a harvest of praise reports
May it tell me a joke I’ll remember
The cornier, the better!
And indulge in cute sandals
For this hot Summer weather
May it give Fall and Winter a heads up
Its cooperation is needed
And remind them of the details
May each one be heeded!
May it be full of great feasts – dinners, breakfast, and lunch May it lead to parks on Sunday And maybe even brunch!
I don’t know what all of Your will is
I must wait and see
A couple of months ago I traveled through a small rural town of Texas on my way to visit family in Oklahoma. It was good ‘ol Omaha! I quickly went through it and received a speeding citation that would cost me nearly a third of the town’s population in dollars. Dangit! I would so prefer buying an airline ticket.
The police officer who pulled me over asked, “Do you plan on being in the area any time soon?” I wasn’t sure if he was slightly ridiculing me after viewing my address on my driver’s license or what, but I chuckled aloud at the ridiculousness of his question, and belted a “No way!” out of my mouth. My response clearly caught the officer by surprise. He tilted his head like a bewildered puppy and asked, “No way?!” I chuckled and repeated again, “No way.” In disregard, he proceeded to make hand gestures that gave directions to the courthouse around the corner, where I would be required to make an appearance. I thought to myself, “just give me my ticket, dude”, and he did. Insert low-pitched bitter growls and rolled eyes here.
I went on my way, and with the hour left to drive before arriving at my family’s home, I began reflecting and praying. I confessed my wrong to God. I was speeding and I did rightly deserve that citation regardless of how badly I didn’t want to attend court or pay anything. I was disobedient to His instructions to abide by the law of the land that I inhabit (Romans 13). My beef was not with the city of Omaha, my beef was with God. I pled for His grace and mercy. I knew there were steps that I would have to take to resolve this, but the first step would be to face things with Godbefore attempting to handle them with man.
We don’t get to choose what is considered right, but we do get to choose whether or not we adhere to what is.
After later reading the fine print on my ticket, I discovered that court was only held the 1st and 3rd Wednesday of each month between the hours of 5 pm – 10 pm. Great. Oh…come…on, Omaha! I had the option to write a letter to the judge to request dismissal by a non-guilty plea, or to request a reduction by admission of guilt and completion of a grueling online driving course. I could lie and plead non-guilty out of fear of my consequence and fight this alone, or, I could tell the truth and hope that God would fight for me and with me. I chose the latter.
I wrote an honest letter and attended court accordingly. Thanks be to God, I found favor with the judge who was pleased with all of my efforts to resolve the matter! Not only was my ticket dismissed in entirety, but because I had to appear in court on an awkward 3rd Wednesday in the evening, it led to an extension of my stay, and the enjoyment of more time with my family. I was even reconciled with an estranged family member during this trip!
God has an amazing way of making things better than before. He has an amazing way of righting our wrongs when we acknowledge the truth. He is merciful! He dismissed my sin in heaven, before it was ever dismissed in Omaha. And for that reason, I was at peace with whatever happened thereafter. Knowing that I was pardoned by my Righteous Judge, Christ Jesus was all that mattered.
I encourage you to examine yourself and talk to God about whatever that requires your repentance too. There is nothing too small. In fact, there is nothing small at all. God wants His bride (us) without stain or wrinkle, or any other blemish (Ephesians 5:27). Go to your Righteous Judge in confidence, knowing that Jesus has already made a way for you. His grace is sufficient, and He is ready to hear your case and is able to do exceedingly and abundantly above all you can ask or think.
Let it be known
That I gave it all I’ve got
And that I kept on walking
Long after I got shot.
They tried to kill me
But He healed me
And now I can surely say
There’s no doubt in my mind
That God isn’t The Way.
He’s not a man that He should lie
So there’s no good excuse
Not to serve Him ’til we die
Not put our gifts to use.
I want to leave this world empty
On time and On “E”
I want to leave this world empty
And full of all of me.
He paid a pretty hefty cost
For our sinful, wretched mess
Then He rose; sent Help
And proceeded to call us blessed.
I thought I lost some here and there
But He said, “Nah, they quit the race.”
He said I chose to keep on running
And they chose to save face.
I want to leave this world empty
Having done all I loved to do
Love God, Love People
Love Me, Love You.
I want to leave flecks of gold
That shimmer within smiles
I want to leave hope, lots of hope
That lasts a great while.
I decided long ago that…
I wanted to leave this world empty
On time and on “E”
So that all would know, truly
That I was naturally me.
So when that day comes…
Let it be known
I didn’t leave early
Let it be known
I hate being late
Let it be known
I’ve waited long enough
For that Oh, so precious date.
“And he said to them, ‘Go into all the world and proclaim the gospel to the whole creation.'” – Mark 16:15 (ESV)
I recently became a notary public for the State of California (Woot! Woot!). In a nut shell, what we do is legally serve the public (without offering legal advice), but mostly by signing and stamping documents with an official seal that pretty much makes them legit with the state to be used in court, or life, or whatever. That’s the “Nu” version.
Ever since I found out that a “commission” is what I was to receive from the Secretary of State before I could perform notarial duties, I was intrigued by the word. I looked it up and laughed. It was like an inside joke between God and I.
I liked these below:
com·mis·sion
kəˈmiSHən/
noun
an instruction, command, or duty given to a person or group of people.
a group of people officially charged with a particular function.
verb
give an order for or authorize the production of (something such as a building, piece of equipment, or work of art).
bring (something newly produced, such as a factory or machine) into working condition.
I realized that this commission to serve the public in the natural was yes, something ordained by the State of California, but my greatest commission and high calling to go out and proclaim the gospel and spread the love of Christ in this hurting and dying world is far more valuable. I am grateful for the God-given revelation in this parallel and for the opportunity to serve Him in serving you, His people. That, my friends is our greatest commission and we can expect a great reward in Heaven. I don’t take my birth lightly, nor more duty following. I heard Dr. Tim Storey say once that, “You’re a big deal” and I agree. God does so much, and allows us as individual believers to go through so much…for just one sometimes. What an honor to serve you, to teach you…what an honor to love you and prepare you (and me) for the Kingdom!
16 For if I preach the gospel, that gives me no ground for boasting. For necessity is laid upon me. Woe to me if I do not preach the gospel! 17 For if I do this of my own will, I have a reward, but if not of my own will, I am still entrusted with a stewardship. 18 What then is my reward? That in my preaching I may present the gospel free of charge, so as not to make full use of my right in the gospel.
19 For though I am free from all, I have made myself a servant to all, that I might win more of them.
As I lay here in bed at my grandparents house I feel this great sense of peace and gratefulness. I recall the Lord’s promise to me that no matter where I go, “I’ll always have a place”. It’s true. No matter where life takes me or how the Lord elevates me, I can always come home to a familiar place, or familiar people that truly know me and love me for me; my family. (The theme song to “Cheers” just started playing in my head). My best friend would probably be making fun of how “old” I am right about now lol. Any way…
I remember watching one of Oprah’s episodes of next chapter featuring the fine Mr. Curtis/50 Cent (ha). He was saying that whenever he comes home and visits his grandma, he’s just Curtis and only to the rest of the world is he this big shot. He still rubs her feet and paints her toenails and everything. He doesn’t drink out of any fancy cups or sleep in any fancy bed with 5,000 thread count sheets. Nope, cuz he’s home.
When I first moved back West and was in funky adjust mode (remember?), my mom hugged me and said “This will always be your home”. I get it, I love it, and I’m finally grateful for it and a bit embarrassed that I wasn’t before. Home is safe. A time to rest, restore, and just be.
I don’t know what’s next or where’s next ha, but I feel it coming in my spirit and so I’m just embracing this time at all of my places with my lifers – individuals that I have allowed and hence chosen to remain in my life forever.
Not once has my coming in or going out not been blessed. The Lord is faithful. He’s always granted me the necessary quality time and/or conversations with people before launching me to the next destination. I’ve never ever left thinking “aww man…” or feeling like “If only I had the chance to…”. Nope, His timing is perfect.
I’m crying because I’ve felt this before. I’ve experienced this before. I know what’s happening. This will soon be a much cherished moment, again. Glory be to God for having a plan. And thank you wisdom for teaching me how to stick to it despite my fleshly desires.
What do ya know, I’ve had my own place all along. I have learned that it is not until the moment of realization of whatever that needs to realized, that it actually exists. Everything up until that point is just in the atmosphere. Not until you grasp the dangling truth (because it is there) is it true for you. And, when it is, no one can steal it. I’m so grateful for God’s timing and faithfulness.
So, all that being said, it feels sooo good to be home and it always will everytime I return. I can honestly say I’m ready for my next chapter. Le’go!
As I prepare for my leave, a few key words have been swarming around and ringing in my ear. I just had to look them up! None of them mean goodbye, but mostly, “See you later”, “‘Til next time”, or “Chow for now”. You get my drift. These two have really stuck out in memory.
fare·well/ˌfe(ə)rˈwel/ noun
(1) an acknowledgement or expression of goodwill at parting.
(2) the act of departing politely.
After seeing this definition I had to look up depart and I must say…I love it and I agree.
de·part/ diˈpärt/ verb
(1) Leave, typically in order to start a journey.
(2) Deviate from (an accepted, prescribed, or traditional course of action).
I went to brunch with a friend this weekend and she gave me a new “journey” pandora charm to add to my bracelet. How thoughtful and appropriate! I loved it. She also gave me a card in which she wrote a lovely quote that I appreciate. It read…
“Don’t be dismayed at good-byes. A farewell is necessary before you can meet again. And meeting again after a moment or lifetime is certain for those who are friends.” – Robert Bach
Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand. – Isaiah 41:10
I’m not gonna lie, I am indeed a bit sad. But both this quote and scripture is encouraging. Even through this bit of sadness that I feel…I know better than to make decisions based on how I feel, and I haven’t. I trust God that this feeling is very temporary and I am positive that it will not be regretted. You see, the choices we make in life (big and small) are so important and have an affect on individuals that we haven’t even encountered yet. How selfish of us to submit unto the Lord, say use me and then pout in the corner with our arms yelling “No!”. Moments like this can make us or break us. I’m willing to be broken to make it.
Sing praise to the Lord, you saints of His, And give thanks at the remembrance of His holy name. For His anger is but for a moment, His favor is for life; Weeping may endure for a night, But joy comes in the morning. Now in my prosperity I said, “I shall never be moved.”
– Psalm 30: 4-6
I read somewhere that morning is whenever you wake up. I wish I could say I have fully awaken, but truthfully I have not. My feet are dragging lol. Still moving forward though (my mom would be proud). The bible, God’s word, my sword, the truth — that is there even when I’m not, and since I believe it, each day, with each passing day, I will enter greater rest and peace in The Most High, truly letting go, letting God, and reaping from it…and wake up and experience joy in the morning! 🙂 It’s just a matter of time. Keep me in your prayers.
These songs have been encouraging me through yet another transition on my journey. Speaking fo my journey, I’m glad you’re here. Enjoy 🙂
For the longest I’ve wanted my own place… A place to call my own. No roommate, just me. My own kitchen to clean up or dirty up, to cook up everything or nothing at all and try out all of The Divine Hostess’ fabulous recipes hehe. A place to entertain loved ones and make them feel at home away from home. A place to blast music and dance naked (yea, I said it) and bring sexy back like no tomorrow. Or really…just a cozy blessed environment for your achy breaky heart. Come over for a hug, a laugh, a movie, a chat, a meal, prayer…but call first (lol). My very own place that I earned, I paid for, and I’m proud of…even if there is nothing in it.
Until recently (last year) the Lord finally gave me revelation that wherever I go, He will make sure that I always have my own place. Yes! I was happy. But then I started thinking wait, what does that mean?? haha.
For the longest I’ve wanted my own place… but to be perfectly honest, I don’t think the Lord ever wants me to live alone. Ha…I think He knows I’d like it too much. I’d get comfortable and use to things being my way and when the time came to share a space with someone else, a spouse perhaps, I might not be as successful as I’d like in compromising and changing my bachelorette mentality. He wants me around people. While I love people, I do love my alone time and I get quite antsy when I’m deprived of it. I’m a thinker and pray-er for goodness sake! I like to read, write, listen, meditate and often in pure silence. I need that sanctuary.
Any way…I still don’t have my own place and in fact, after much prayer and going back and forth with the Lord, I have surrendered to His plan for me in many different ways lately, the most recent being to move back to the West Coast with my family (not in my own place) for such a time as this. I feel like I’m just returning to headquarters or the corporate office for a bit to recharge before my next “earth camp adventure” (as one of my spiritual mothers calls it). Don’t ask me where, I have no idea. But, I’m open and I’ll keep ya posted.
This is ministry. My ministry.
The hardest thing about this type of ministry or missionary work is leaving. As soon we get comfortable and our “work is done”, the Lord moves us *tears*. As soon as we meet people that we want to be in our lives forever *tears* He takes them or us away. It hurts so badly. It’s like jerking people apart in mid-hug. I wasn’t ready for it this time. I wasn’t ready for it. It’s hard to give answers to questions that you don’t have the answers to yourself. Then to top it off, the enemy tries to harass you with lies and guilt and make you feel bad about following God’s will and reminds you of all the people you’re hurting in choosing this way. He knows your gifts too and jumps at the opportunity to capitalize on them. But, whatever. I’m choosing God’s way and my mind is made up. Can you see the struggle though? *shrugs shoulders* That’s where I am.
In the spirit realm, when we down here don’t release someone in our hearts, when we don’t free them or support them in doing what God wants to do in their lives, a struggle can arise. The flow of The Holy Spirit is interrupted for justifiably selfish reasons and things don’t sail as smooth. We move forward with an easy pass but still have to stop and pay tolls. We move forward with a rock stuck in our skates. We move forward wearing heavy snow boots in no snow. Just help us out; release us.
I feel myself wanting to ramble, so I’m gonna be wise and wrap it up.
I just hope and pray that the Lord would at least allow my distance to not disconnect. That the love I’ve found in all of these relationships will remain mutual, and that we can always be a positive something that looks forward to catching up, swapping stories, and seeing each other again.
So in obedience…I count down the days.
I very much believe that Father knows best so forever I will roll with and agree with His perspective. For now, “I’m okay” awaiting to be “great”….and I still want my own place LOL. Just being honest.
