Grief + Healing

My dear aunt passed away a few months ago. I did not attend her funeral, but the Lord knows, as does she, I was present when it mattered.

Since then, I’ve been grieving. More importantly, I’ve been honest with God about my grief and have trusted Him with it’s appropriation. I’ve had days of super strength, days of stoic numbness, a few sudden with tears, and some with spurts of laughter. Today was laughter and tears. All days, gratefully, I’ve had peace.

Just this morning I met a lady that looked like my aunt did in her younger years. Man, it was so good to see her. She was listening to an audio book (something my aunt would be doing) and she had a lot of bags, and a lot of things in those bags (something like my aunt) lol. I chuckled to myself, teared up, and thanked God for the spurt of laughter. This is grief…coupled with healing.

I think it’s so important for us to not just stay stuck with our grief, but to also marry it with healing found purely in God, The Father. We can move past it properly this way. Do you know that it’s okay to move past it? Have you granted yourself permission?

For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven…a time to cry and a time to dance. – Ecclesiastes 3:1-4

Now if it’s your season to cry buckets, I get it. By all means cry on without remorse! But if you know deep down in your heart, that you should have been dancing a long time ago, this is your opportunity to cast your care for real, for real…or again any way. Guilt is NOT from God. Never feel guilty for God’s favor. Feel GRATEFUL!

1 Peter 5:7 says: “Give all your worries and cares to God, for He cares for you.” Do you believe that?! So that means, yes, even though He allowed your loss to occur, God cares for YOU!! Is scripture going to be your foundation or are you going to believe a lie? The choice is yours.

Let’s not just carry this weight of grief. Let’s feel it in all of it’s gory, sometimes seemingly unreasonable pain and injustice. Ugh. Let’s release it unto God and release each other to process it in ways unique to ourselves.

Let’s give the devil a black eye and an eviction notice, telling him HE CAN’T RUIN OUR LIVES by causing us to tighten our grip in seasons we should be loosening it.

Let’s also pray for appropriation in our grief, so that it is not displaced; turning into bitterness, addiction, and who knows what else. Let’s not let it begin squatting on our hearts; extending past it’s seasonal expiration.

God wants you joyous! That’s one of the fruits of His spirit! And I would personally hate to see you skip past your happy season, because you’re holding on too long to the sad one. You know what I mean? I know you do.

Well, that’s all I really wanted to say. I don’t have a fancy punny ending or anything like that for this post. Oh! I did see an Instagram post be another person who was grieving. They suggested writing a letter to a loved one and releasing it in a balloon. I thought that was a pretty neat idea, and I think that will help me in my process. God-willing, we’ll do it, as writing was something special my aunt and I shared together. A letter seems swell.

In the meantime, pray for me while I pray for you. Enjoy this short clip of my aunt (Author and Speaker, Andrea Grayson) sharing her testimony at a Women’s Conference in San Diego a couple of years ago. Love her and you so much.

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It Is Well.

Good morning loves!

This is the day the Lord has made;
We will rejoice and be glad in it. – Psalm 118:24

So lately I’ve been reflecting (surprise, surprise, surprise! – in my Gomer Pyle voice) and really just thankful and well, happy. I can honestly say that I am the happiest that I have ever been. It is a miracle, really. If you only knew! I was talking about this with my best friend the other day and we are just totally amazed. She was sharing how she threw away a picture of me from a while back because it wasn’t a good memory. When the photo was taken I was in a bad place. Not at my worst quite yet, but in a bad season in my life. As we were talking, I could visualize God smiling at His children boasting about His greatness. I praise God that “It is well” and I now have pictures that show that.

      Hallelujah! I worship you, Oh God for all you do! You are magnificent in all of Your ways. You’re an awesome wonder and in You forever will I put my trust for You are a faithful and just God…Hallelujah! If You choose to do no more You honestly and truly have done enough. You are a healer and deliverer. I thank You for making me whole…I thank You for making me new, I thank You for seeing about me and not forgetting Lord *tears*…

Thank You so much for not forgetting about me.

I hit a rough patch where I had a little internal tug of war (and I’m not done hitting them ha) that is difficult for me to explain, but I came out victorious thanks to prayer (if you prayed, thank you!). I had some decisions I needed to make, I had to stop pouting, lay my will down (which I thought I had), and choose to follow the leading of the Holy Spirit and trust that God knows what He’s doing and that even when some things don’t make sense, they do to Him. A lot of great things are going on and in the works for my life now…that quickly. When we choose His way, we open up the door to blessing. Blessing always follows obedience. While I’m happy about the opportunities, people, and wonderful things going on that make me smile, I do not attribute this joy to anyone except The One who is worthy…My God the Father, The Son, and The Holy Spirit. But I do thank you all who have allowed yourselves to be used to bless my life in all sorts of way that you may be unaware of. I feel, pure, raw, unadulterated love and joy that only cometh from the Lord. I’m grateful that the Lord is patient, loving, and not a respecter of persons because I certainly fall short and require much grace at times.

I encourage you today. I encourage me today. Whatever you’re going through, big or small…do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble. – Matthew 6:34 May the Lord help us with today. Today is still the day that the Lord has made and when you choose to rejoice in it despite whatever is going on in heart, mind, and in the natural. Despite however people are acting around you…you excel in strength. You wage spiritual war even when you feel defeated. You win.

Be Encouraged. Have a blessed day!