When All Feels Wrong

When all feels wrong
Yet God is pleased
Hold on
Hold on

When cracks expand to pot holes
And threads part seams
Hold on
Hold on

When smiles twist and turn
Upside down
When hearts plummet you 6 feet
Underground
When the jury is hung
When only you’re around
Hold on
Hold on

When all feels wrong
Yet God is pleased

Let us remember, the
lions’ den and their mouths that shut, the
praise that broke the bars at midnight, the
faith that slew the arrogant Philistine, the
crucifixion that split the temple curtain in two, the
girl who was “only asleep”

Thank God for, the
Red Sea that parted, the
cloud that rose above the tent, the
virgin who conceived a King, the
grace and unconditional love that leads us to repent

Oh God, Let us not forget
Until we hear
Well done
Well done

I will praise you, Lord , with all my heart; I will tell of all the marvelous things you have done. I will be filled with joy because of you. I will sing praises to your name, O Most High. – Psalms 9:1‭-‬2 (NLT)

©2018 • Chan’tel Nikole Grayson

Not Okay. #Transition

I’m not okay.

I’m on day 2 of my obedient move back to the west coast and I don’t want to be here. You’d think I’d be all cried out by now, but nope…not just yet 😥 Gosh. I’m struggling big time with this and I’m in need of some serious healing (and prayer please). I’m upset, heartbroken, and my will is bruised. Don’t get me wrong, I love love love all of my family and friends here. Everyone’s very happy to see me and have me back. It’s good to see them too. I just want to visit that’s all…I don’t want to stay. Arggh…why am I here?! I just want to be left alone. I feel miserable and I don’t want company (ha). Just being honest.

This is not okay, God. I am not okay! This is your will, so you gotta help me be at peace with all of this. I’m not. Please fix this or me…I’m good with either one.

I have so many thoughts…hopes…questions…a whole lotta …”but you said..” and “you showed me, so…” *sigh*. I feel like for whatever purpose the Lord has me here (on assignment, for growth, healing, all of the above, or whatever)  I just need to hurry up, jump on board and get it over with so I can get back to my happy place wherever the heck that is! (It should be anywhere…smh). All that must sound so horrible, I know. Maybe not the best attitude either, but it’s the truth and that I believe is always okay. I feel how I feel *shrugs shoulders*.

Today a friend on facebook shared that…

“Everyday may not be a good day, but there’s good in every day.”

Praise God for that! So I’m determined to find the good in every day and rejoice in it.

This was good about my day today:

I woke up. I had a wonderful breakfast. The weather was absolutely gorgeous. I relaxed with a close friend at the marina. I was comforted by someone I use to comfort (and somehow it was sweeter for that very reason). I made a friend smile on her birthday. I saved $2 at the store (lol). Someone bought me lunch. I saw some of the harvest from seeds I had sown long ago and forgotten about – amazing!

After writing that, I feel kind of silly complaining and focusing on the bad (some of you are probably thinking…”As you should!”). Dag, I’m blessed. But when we go through situations they seem to be magnified and cloud out other things going on.

There was tons of good in today. I’m still not okay (but I trust I will be). I’m just glad that the good in tomorrow is definite.

“I will recount the steadfastness love of the Lord, the praise of the Lord, according to all that the Lord has granted us…” – Isaiah 63:7 (ESV)