Grief + Healing

My dear aunt passed away a few months ago. I did not attend her funeral, but the Lord knows, as does she, I was present when it mattered.

Since then, I’ve been grieving. More importantly, I’ve been honest with God about my grief and have trusted Him with it’s appropriation. I’ve had days of super strength, days of stoic numbness, a few sudden with tears, and some with spurts of laughter. Today was laughter and tears. All days, gratefully, I’ve had peace.

Just this morning I met a lady that looked like my aunt did in her younger years. Man, it was so good to see her. She was listening to an audio book (something my aunt would be doing) and she had a lot of bags, and a lot of things in those bags (something like my aunt) lol. I chuckled to myself, teared up, and thanked God for the spurt of laughter. This is grief…coupled with healing.

I think it’s so important for us to not just stay stuck with our grief, but to also marry it with healing found purely in God, The Father. We can move past it properly this way. Do you know that it’s okay to move past it? Have you granted yourself permission?

For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven…a time to cry and a time to dance. – Ecclesiastes 3:1-4

Now if it’s your season to cry buckets, I get it. By all means cry on without remorse! But if you know deep down in your heart, that you should have been dancing a long time ago, this is your opportunity to cast your care for real, for real…or again any way. Guilt is NOT from God. Never feel guilty for God’s favor. Feel GRATEFUL!

1 Peter 5:7 says: “Give all your worries and cares to God, for He cares for you.” Do you believe that?! So that means, yes, even though He allowed your loss to occur, God cares for YOU!! Is scripture going to be your foundation or are you going to believe a lie? The choice is yours.

Let’s not just carry this weight of grief. Let’s feel it in all of it’s gory, sometimes seemingly unreasonable pain and injustice. Ugh. Let’s release it unto God and release each other to process it in ways unique to ourselves.

Let’s give the devil a black eye and an eviction notice, telling him HE CAN’T RUIN OUR LIVES by causing us to tighten our grip in seasons we should be loosening it.

Let’s also pray for appropriation in our grief, so that it is not displaced; turning into bitterness, addiction, and who knows what else. Let’s not let it begin squatting on our hearts; extending past it’s seasonal expiration.

God wants you joyous! That’s one of the fruits of His spirit! And I would personally hate to see you skip past your happy season, because you’re holding on too long to the sad one. You know what I mean? I know you do.

Well, that’s all I really wanted to say. I don’t have a fancy punny ending or anything like that for this post. Oh! I did see an Instagram post be another person who was grieving. They suggested writing a letter to a loved one and releasing it in a balloon. I thought that was a pretty neat idea, and I think that will help me in my process. God-willing, we’ll do it, as writing was something special my aunt and I shared together. A letter seems swell.

In the meantime, pray for me while I pray for you. Enjoy this short clip of my aunt (Author and Speaker, Andrea Grayson) sharing her testimony at a Women’s Conference in San Diego a couple of years ago. Love her and you so much.

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Stretch Marks On My Heart #Poetry #Love #Song

Don’t need no cocoa butter for this
I don’t want to cover it
Let it shine, let it show
Supernatural glow fo’ sho

I got stretch marks on my heart
Too many names to list why
But the best of the best is God
Yea with him, I’m supafly

These cheesy rhymes are dear to me
Though they don’t reflect my depth
They mirror that childlike spirit
Hands in the air, step by step

Smile so wide
Sway to the beat
Leave my hair wild
Move those feet

‘Cause I got stretch marks on my heart
I’m happy, I’m free
Too many names to list why
But yo, thanks for loving me

©2018 • Chan’tel Nikole Grayson

I’m Surprised By My Love For You #poetry #patriotism

I’m surprised by my love for you
I didn’t realize there was much still there

But in the light of such tragic events
I saw glimpses that you still care

Not in entirety, but you’re not all cold
and it’s so refreshing to see

How God resides in parts of you
and ignites the God in me

It was nice to find you beautiful
It was nice to find you great

I’m praying for you, America
May God’s will be done in every state

© 2017 • Chan’tel Nikole Grayson

Check, please! #HeartCheck

 

Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. – Proverbs 4:23

I had a vision last night and as much I don’t want to admit this gory thing…Isn’t that what a blog is all about?

In the vision The Lord showed me my heart and half of it was protected, but the other half was kind of outside of me and gnat-like bugs were swarming around it like it would an open piece of fruit. The sight of it was almost unbearable! My spirit squirmed. Gross! How could that be me?! I knew it was though, and I wanted out of this scary vision.

I knew what it meant. I needed to guard my heart. I needed to re-check myself. I needed to realize that I’m not exempt from the toxicity of this world. I am now convinced, and rightfully so, that we are all at risk for contamination if we don’t guard what flows into our hearts. For what flows in, will certainly flow out!
I don’t know about you, but I can’t afford it. Too many souls at stake.

I’m not a big t.v. person, but lately I’d been watching a lot more of it. Nothing crazily inappropriate or anything, but a little unwholesome stuff here and there, easily equates to a lot (or enough) of wholesome stuff! As I reflect…I then found myself listening to a little more secular music, reading a little more magazines, being entertained by a little more of those tweets and few more of those Instagram pics…Are you getting me?

Worldly stuff. Stuff that matters none! I’m so sick of “stuff” that I could just burn my phone right now! Ok, maybe not…I need it to blog 😉

…let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven. – Matthew 5:16

As Christians, we need to make sure that we’re not blending with the world. Because when we do, we stop trending in the Kingdom of God. No bueno! Check, please!

Dreams, visions, and prophecies, are nothing to be worried or afraid about, especially when you have an active prayer life. I believe they’re just another form of God’s little ways of putting us earthly folks in the know of what’s really going on in the spirit-realm. They’re his way of putting things on our radar and prayer list. It’s God’s way of supporting us and showing us just how much he cares. When this happens, we should prayerfully seek Him for clarity and understanding.

I tend to get hard on myself, but you know what, as long as we live lives of repentance and accept the fact that we will always fall short. When we delight in The Lord and strive to get it right, whatever our “it” is, He will be honored.

Remember that Jesus paid our gory bill long ago. All we have to do is say, “Check, please!” and be willing to let Him pay yet again.

Love you and praying for us both!

If #Poetry #RudyardKipling #TeacherAppreciation

Today I was thinking…

Sometimes it doesn’t take much to make an impact, and often what we personally consider as not much is indeed tons to another. All it took was one year of investment to change my life forever. I was in 7th grade, attending a private school and I had the best teacher ever (Pastor Sharon Christopher). I love her so much and am grateful to have been able to say “thank you”. She loved the Lord and us and showed it every single day. Such a prime example of how a woman should be! I thought about this poem she had us memorize today that I love! Just thought I’d share it. There’s so much depth we didn’t understand then but I’m grateful to remember and understand today. Enjoy 🙂

If

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too:
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;
If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim,
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same:.
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build’em up with worn-out tools;
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings,
And never breathe a word about your loss:

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: “Hold on!”

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much:
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!

Rudyard Kipling