When the Wound Re-opens #Poetry #Prayer #Healing

When the wound re-opens
It’s a time to heal
In a proper way
While being still

When the wound re-opens
We can’t ignore
The pain that aches
The heart that’s sore

When the wound re-opens
It’s our day
To choose to turn
Whichever way

And dig deeply
To the roots
And to the core
Dig deeper
Deeper
Deeper
MORE

When the wound re-opens
EXCAVATE
And may all we find
Be faced, making no escape

May our ashes turn
To beauty yearned
Filling us with joy
Over lessons learned

When the wound re-opens
Pray for humility
To submit unto
The Potter’s wheel
Pray that all that’s bad
Be chipped away
No matter how much it hurts
Or how much we squeal

When the wound re-opens
Hope for something new
That leaves us unrecognizable in the best of ways
To position ourselves for God’s wonderful plan
And bring Him glory all of our days

© 2017 • Chan’tel Nikole Grayson

Whoever you are, wherever you are, HOLD ON. #Encouragement

A couple of months ago I had a short interview with a close family friend who was writing a book on healing after painful experiences. He wanted to know how long it took for me to be healed and how I went about reaching that place of healing.  My response was something like this:

I can’t really put a number on it.  I’d love to think that I am 100% healed from x, y, and z, but the truth of the matter is, maybe just x and y…or honestly, maybe 80% of all three ha.  I don’t know.  Once you think you’re good, you undergo spontaneous triggers by something big or small…a month later…a year later…maybe even 3 years later (to each it’s own).

These triggers remind you, and may leave you disappointed or annoyed by the realization that dang, there’s still residue.  Dang.  There is still some healing, maybe even lots of healing left to be done.  In my experience, from one trigger to the next, disappointment came when I misunderstood what not being completely healed really meant.  I thought it was bad, but now I know that when you are willing to heal, the fact that you are not completely healed of something simply means that God isn’t done, not that we aren’t ready for ____________.  So, if you’re triggered by something that reminds you that you still need grace and humility, and reminds you that you’re still a human who needs God, then good!  We were created to need Him.  You are not delayed in meeting, reaching, or receiving what God has for you.  That my friend, is a lie from the enemy!

rootsOne must get uncomfortable enough to deal with the roots.  One must  get uncomfortable enough to allow God to dig beneath the messy surface where the beginning of your issues and pain lie.

In order to heal properly, you have to deal (with the pain) properly.” – Nu 

If you’re on the path to healing, then you know that you get those full circle, déjà vu, divine do-over moments when _____________________ happens again.  Except this time it doesn’t make you angry, it doesn’t make you cry, and it shockingly doesn’t affect you the way it has in the past.  You figuratively (or literally if you’re like me) leap in joy at the felt sense of accomplishment that you have finally, at last have been stamped by the Lord as “Healed!”.  Not!

I believe us earthlings (ha!) are never completely healed of any worldly ailments until we leave this world and enter into our true destination…Heaven.  Ahhh…The beautiful place of no pain, sorrow, or frustration…just love and fruits – my fave! 😉  We should know though, that while here on earth…

godlovesyou

“…neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” – Romans 8:38-39 (NIV)

I am convinced that healing is ongoing and not to be consistently associated with readiness for something new.  God is not a God that withholds good things from people who love and obey Him.

“For the Lord God is a sun and shield; the Lord bestows favor and honor. No good thing does he withhold from those who walk uprightly.” – Psalm 84:11 (ESV)

Whoever you are, wherever you are, HOLD ON.  You may not be 100% healed from x, y, and z, I don’t know, but we should certainly celebrate the fact that we’re making progress.  My heart personally smiles when I understand me better than I did yesterday.  It gives me a better shot at understanding you.  By faith I am healed, today, tomorrow, and forever.  I am pleased with me and He, from whom my help comes…as should you.  So stay blessed, be encouraged, and HOLD ON!  Love you.

xo,
Nu

There is something about nighttime. #GoodMourning #Poetry #Grief #Sorrow

I’ve smiled every day since I remembered you were here
But then long after sunset
my eyes shed a tear

There is something about nighttime.

I’ve laughed many moments before the high tide of darkness arrived until, “Bam!”, the news…

was prescribed
I sighed
before I cried
and denied
then realized that…

There is something about nighttime.

I thought you were just dancing to the beat of a hip, fast song
But all this time, the lights were dim,
And I was totally wrong.

Man.

When I prayed for your fire
And I prayed for your faith,
I had no idea how much was at stake
Believe me when I say, I knew
not at all that…
ashes would await.

Gosh.

Lord, you said that joy cometh in the morning but for all of us, I am requesting an exception for tonight. Because…

There is something about nighttime.

©2013 • Chan’tel Nikole Grayson

Funk; Four Weddings & 5 Stages #Grief

Hey there lovas! I missed ya! It feels good to be back, writing, and doing what I love…sharing a little bit of me in hopes of connecting with even a few of you in some sort of way.  For the record, I’m still under construction, and will be for the rest of my life (S/O to my bff for that reminder haha).  That being said today is as good as tomorrow to talk about well, whatever.  Let’s do it. YOLO!! Lol.

As you know, I’m on the Westsiiiide…and I was in a major funk upon arrival (check the archive and see for yourself).  Since then, I’ve figuratively lit some candles, sprayed some air freshener and have molded my thizz face into a pretty darn good smile.

Lately the Lord has been really dealing with me about unrealistic expectations; a huge recipe for disappointment (that’s a separate blog in itself).  To keep a long story short, I’ve quickly learned that basically no one can be Jesus for me, but Jesus.  I’m imperfect and so is everybody else.  Jesus is the only one who can fill those voids that we all have and it’s unfair to expect anyone else to do His job.  Those voids are there by purpose for a purpose.

The greatest thing about this season is what the Lord has been showing me about myself. Stuff that I was truly unaware of and really disappointed and hard on myself about once learned.  Even though I was disappointed, He wasn’t, because He knows our hearts.  I was and am always striving to be a better me (a lifetime heart desire) and He was helping me do just that.  So, I repented and accepted His grace for the gajillionth time.  Sooo humbling yo!  I’m so appreciative and feel so loved when He corrects me.  He does it right.  Chastisement is definitely a good thing sometimes.

During this process of, let’s call it “dealership” ha…I happened to be watching this show on TLC called Four Weddings.  If you haven’t heard of it, it’s basically a competitive show where four brides attend each others’ weddings, rate them in categories, and the winning bride (and groom) enjoy a  honeymoon to a surprise destination.  One day I was watching it and one of the brides who lost spoke of her disappointment afterwards.  She casually yet honestly said something like, “There’s 5 stages of grief, right? I’d say I’m in the anger stage”. *gasp* That was it!  I googled it — 5 stages of grief:

1) Denial & Isolation
2) Anger
3) Bargaining
4) Depression
5) Acceptance

I was grieving.  Shoooot, I was grieving things I didn’t even know that I needed to grieve!  But, understanding these stages gave me hope and really drove me.  I could do something with my new found knowledge (Hosea 4:6) and about my temporary situation.  I could pray better, I could be better.  I was and am determined.  My armor had gotten oiled and I had some extra fuel for the fight. Y’all ain’t ready!!  haha

For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways, says the Lord.” – Isaiah 55:8

I love how spontaneously the Holy Spirit ministers to God’s children and how there’s no defined or uniform way that he speaks and that we (individuals) in turn, hear.  Yes, even on the couch!  Try God.  Invite Him to sit next to you.  Like me, 4 Weddings & 5 stages can rescue you out of a funk. (you get me!).  Receive it.  Believe it.

He who has ears to hear, let him be listening and let him consider and perceive and comprehend by hearing. – Matt 11:15

Keep prayin’ for a sista!  Love Love Love you!