Awakening Love

As I lay face up on the massage table, my personable and talkative masseuse chatted away about life, love and relationships. She was comfortable, giddy, and in need of conversation. Most of her clients had canceled for the day due to the weather and cabin fever was becoming.

After ranting for some time, she paused and must have realized that she’d shared so much about her and had gathered very little about me. I’m mostly okay with that.

I knew it was coming; it always does. It was my turn to share something of the subject. She asked, “So, do you have a husband or are you married?” Not sure what the difference was, but I felt something like the Samaritan woman at the well. Just kidding. Like a broken record on repeat, I casually responded, “no, not yet”. This seemed to thrust her towards the next question, “Well, do you have a boyfriend?” I casually responded again with a “no, not yet”. We both chuckled. I’ve done this many times before.

I asked her how she met her boyfriend and she embarrassingly shared how she bumped into him randomly at a store. I want to say it was Home Depot. They shared the aisle and she thought he was cute, so she asked for his input on 2 products she was trying to decide between. Smart girl. That was the beginning. A cute, and organic beginning.

I told her (and discovered simultaneously) that that is my fear. Though I say I would love for a romantic relationship to happen organically, it actually happening or almost happening frightens me. I get so awkward. I told her, I go into stores, see guys looking at me and think to myself…”please don’t look at me, I’m just here for celery.” I need to get out of my own way, but I just don’t know how to. This “leave me alone” sticker must be glued on. Anybody have some Goo Gone? Excuse me while I run to Home Depot, ha!

Maybe that’s an odd issue, and some would judge that it is an issue at all. Not wanting to be approached or addressed by attractive men?! Ridiculous? Maybe. I mean, I feel beautiful inside and out. But hear me out. I realized that fear of being approached was actually masked by this fear…

In my past romantic relationships, I have allowed men to lead me astray from my first love (God); we were unequally yoked. If there was a book about the history of me, you would see a trend of me choosing wolves in sheep’s clothing and constantly being preyed upon and deceived. Ugh. Over it.

He goes on ahead of them, and his sheep follow him because they know his voice. But they will never follow a stranger; in fact, they will run away from him because they do not recognize a stranger’s voice. – John 10:4‭b-‬5 (NIV)

Scarcely had I passed them when I found the one my heart loves. I held him and would not let him go… – Song of Songs 3:4a (NIV)

You have no idea what a safe exhale of relief that second scripture is for me. It is true of my First Love, and a hopeful testimony of my second. Inserts heart eyes emoji.

Okay, that’s it. Instead of being continually anxious about this whole meeting my heart’s desire thing, I need to just address it in prayer right now. If that’s you too, then let us pray.

Lord, forgive me for being fearful. Help me to trust the authenticity of my relationship with you, check for the fruit of your spirit in others, and heed Your God-given discernment. I know that fear and love cannot live together, so I kick fear out and welcome love in Your timing. Continue to prepare me to be the woman you have destined me to be on earth as it is in heaven, bringing glory to Your great name. May I be a sheep that heeds Your voice only; undistracted by the calls of a stranger. May Thy kingdom come, and Your will be done. In the name of Yeshua, my Savior. Amen.

That’s it. That’s all.

©2019 • Chan’tel Nikole Grayson

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ISIS: A Message to The Body of Christ #HaveNoFear

The Lord recently gave me a dream that Isis (Islamic State) came here. To the United States, I believe California. There was a terrorist invasion and I, with a group of others were captured and they tried to get me to deny Jesus Christ and I didn’t. I remember not denying Christ and then being killed quickly. Amazingly it was like a wonderful quick trip to somewhere I had always wanted to be.

We are confident, I say, and would prefer to be away from the body and at home with the Lord. – 2 Corinthians 5:8 (NIV)

I didn’t know that I was a martyr until I was on the other side (not on earth). I didn’t know at any point leading up to then. We have so many callings that come into fruition. Death was better than “life” and I had won! I didn’t know if I was in heaven, but It was all-around good…and maybe the state, was what was good. Similar to earth in the way that perception is everything and the truth sets you free. I was in truth…and in hope…and in love…and in goodness. It was a state being, and that is where I was. Maybe that is what heaven is.

What I want you to know is: It’s all a lie! We have nothing to be afraid of. We can live amazing, bold, free and radical lives for Christ here on earth, and eternity awaits thereafter! The enemy is deceptive. He makes us think and feel that leaving this earth is a bad thing; that it’s horrible, that’s its a loss. But, that’s only the case if you haven’t accepted Christ as your Lord and Savior. JESUS IS LORD. 

The Lord says…

The end of a matter is better than its beginning… – Ecclesiastes 7:8a (NIV)

Here on earth we cry when people die because the earth is full of pain and sorrow. That doesn’t exist in the presence of God. So all of my earthly family and friends should really wipe their tears, if possible, and celebrate, if possible, and remain hopeful, if possible, that they too will get to join in at this party. So go out and work hard. Not for man, but for God’s kingdom. Invite and bring as many souls as possible…there’s so much room.

After this dream, I know that If anything ever happened to me “tragically” on earth,  I would never want to be resuscitated, because death here (on earth) is a wonderful and beautiful life somewhere else. Please, release me in love and let me live.

For Christ also suffered once for sins, the righteous for the unrighteous, to bring you to God. He was put to death in the body but made alive in the Spirit. – 1 Peter 3:18 (NIV)

The word of the Lord spread through the whole region. But the Jewish leaders incited the God-fearing women of high standing and the leading men of the city. They stirred up persecution against Paul and Barnabas, and expelled them from their region. So they shook the dust off their feet as a warning to them and went to Iconium. And the disciples were filled with joy and with the Holy Spirit. – Acts 13:49-52

My prayer is that we as Christians, would be so full of the Holy Spirit that demonic principalities at work; the evil one, cannot harm us. It is my prayer that we would easily dust our feet when needed, and always leave full of joy whether the word of The Lord is received or not.

We know that anyone born of God does not continue to sin; the One who was born of God keeps them safe, and the evil one cannot harm them. – 1 John 5:18