#Kingdom #Business is Booming…

Today, I have the most amount of friends that I have ever had in my life at one time. I mean, I have had plenty of acquaintances, but the number of genuine people that have been a friend to me can be counted on one hand. The number is small, and personally, I like it that way, but I feel God stretching me.

I try to give the people and things that I care about my undivided attention. I’m the person who’s not on their cell phone at breakfast, lunch, or dinner. I also don’t like rationing out my love. I like to give out as much as I can for keeps, and for free, if you’re not a pig, that is (See Matthew 7:6). Up until recently (like hours ago recently…this is fresh!), my analytical mind figured a small number of friends would allow me to strategically drop lump sums of love on everybody, resulting in happiness for all. It was a big fat burrito versus numerous street tacos kind of approach. street taco burritoIf you ask me, it’s a brilliantly inappropriate formula that works as long as the numbers don’t increase. But, Kingdom business is booming, and something’s gotta change. Times like these make me happy. They are those sweet and sour crooked path being made straight types of moments, and I’m all about it! I’m noticing that there are suddenly more mouths to feed, and I am but one chef cooking in the kitchen. There are suddenly more sheep to tend and I’m just a little ol’ sheep myself. Kingdom business is booming, and something’s gotta change.

business booming

cut the stringsMany of my friends, like myself, are probably used to my level of availability. Their level of support and maturity vary, but regardless, it comes down to me. I’ve been the kind, single friend with a different type of busyness that truthfully, I haven’t respected much. I’ve had a willingness to be there and set myself aside. Sometimes it’s a labor of love, which is great and necessary, but mostly it’s been a neglectful puppet act that displeases the Lord, and myself. It’s been an unhealthy form of bondage, like all forms of bondage are…unhealthy. My puppet strings are showing, and I can’t do it anymore.

As I sit here on this threshing floor with Jesus, looking at all the dreams and opportunities that He’s dropping on purpose for me, I realize that there is no way I can attain them with this posture. I am weak and I need His perfect strength to make me strong. I need Him to take it from here.

…He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. – 2 Corinthians 12:9 (NIV)

Lord, please forgive me for taking Your place, and getting in Your way. It is not my job to meet the needs of my friends (or anyone). In fact, there is absolutely no way that I can do it, for You are their Shepherd! I see that Your family is growing. Your church is growing, and many new relationships are forming that I just can’t keep track of. Thank You for every friend, brother, and sister You have blessed me with. I submit them all to you, Father. Past, present, and future. I entrust them all in Your hands, and ask that You would appropriate each one. I am free to do Your will and mine, and I do not have to apologize or feel bad for doing either one, which are truly the same. I love You, and I thank You for bringing this up. Thank You for allowing me to come to the end of myself and recognize the err in my ways and my need of You, My Savior.

I thank You for these important life changes, and I ask that You would help me to set appropriate boundaries and help all who are affected by them to adjust accordingly . Snip my puppet strings! I remove the pressure off of myself to be someone that I am not, and I embrace imperfect me, and choose to love her. *sigh* Thank You for Your burden that is light, and Your yoke that is easy. You are such a Good Father. I ask that You would continue to do what You do, and help me to follow in Your way. In the name of Jesus I pray, Amen.

 

#Boundaries #Liberation

Lately I’ve been annoyed. I’ve been annoyed because people (mostly loved ones) have been so dang nosy and just all up in my business! People wanting to know Who?… What?…When?…Where?…Why?…How? about this, that, and the other…ay yi yi Whyyyyy?! Ugh! No more. Now truthfully, it’s partly my own frickin’ fault for communicating over time with certain people about certain things in the first place. A little bit of this or that out of excitement, boredom, or various counts of random rambling, but I’m buckling down now…fa real. People don’t know or understand that certain topics or things are off limits if you’re not consistent and it’s not communicated. Show people how to treat you. This is an ongoing learning experience for me. Not trying to toot my own horn, but I’m a great teacher *toot toot*. Nonetheless, I can only teach that which I’ve successfully learned. I’ve learned a lot in this little lifetime, but I’ve still got a ways to go. Let’s Go!!

Maybe I’m just fed up and so just taking grown to another level, but sometimes that’s what it takes shoot. Some serious changes are about to be made and I’m reallly looking forward to the results. I’m ready. It’s about time! 

All frustration aside, when it comes down to it, I am greatly loved and in turn, greatly cared for. They all mean well, they really do. They give advice, suggestions, opinions, insight and “I hear them”, but, it’s simply not always necessary and I forgive them for the things that they don’t even realize they’re doing, and myself for granting permission to impose. My loved ones want to know that I’m okay and often fear that I may not be. I can’t submit unto their fears and live for them and God at the same time. I can’t and I won’t. I think this is part of the reason I’m going back West. Just part. The Lord’s a multi-tasker like no other ya know. I don’t have all the answers and when I do, I don’t need to share them unless of course I want to or feel led to. So that’s why the mold is breaking. That’s why the umbilical cord is being cut. This is Liberation. (cue the music haha)

You will know what I want you to know. The more I learn and know about me, the more I can teach you and I’m happy to do it.

My friend shared one day…

“Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than you. –  Dr. Seuss

I love it and I believe it. It’s time for the new Nu to get even more true y’all! It’s time to set some new boundaries and really give myself a chance at an even greater future. *sings* “Ooh Ooh Ooh Ooh Oooooh…I got a new attitude!” haha.

Wish me luck and def keep me in your prayers as I do what I do in the most loving way possible. Love you & have a great weekend!