Awakening Love

As I lay face up on the massage table, my personable and talkative masseuse chatted away about life, love and relationships. She was comfortable, giddy, and in need of conversation. Most of her clients had canceled for the day due to the weather and cabin fever was becoming.

After ranting for some time, she paused and must have realized that she’d shared so much about her and had gathered very little about me. I’m mostly okay with that.

I knew it was coming; it always does. It was my turn to share something of the subject. She asked, “So, do you have a husband or are you married?” Not sure what the difference was, but I felt something like the Samaritan woman at the well. Just kidding. Like a broken record on repeat, I casually responded, “no, not yet”. This seemed to thrust her towards the next question, “Well, do you have a boyfriend?” I casually responded again with a “no, not yet”. We both chuckled. I’ve done this many times before.

I asked her how she met her boyfriend and she embarrassingly shared how she bumped into him randomly at a store. I want to say it was Home Depot. They shared the aisle and she thought he was cute, so she asked for his input on 2 products she was trying to decide between. Smart girl. That was the beginning. A cute, and organic beginning.

I told her (and discovered simultaneously) that that is my fear. Though I say I would love for a romantic relationship to happen organically, it actually happening or almost happening frightens me. I get so awkward. I told her, I go into stores, see guys looking at me and think to myself…”please don’t look at me, I’m just here for celery.” I need to get out of my own way, but I just don’t know how to. This “leave me alone” sticker must be glued on. Anybody have some Goo Gone? Excuse me while I run to Home Depot, ha!

Maybe that’s an odd issue, and some would judge that it is an issue at all. Not wanting to be approached or addressed by attractive men?! Ridiculous? Maybe. I mean, I feel beautiful inside and out. But hear me out. I realized that fear of being approached was actually masked by this fear…

In my past romantic relationships, I have allowed men to lead me astray from my first love (God); we were unequally yoked. If there was a book about the history of me, you would see a trend of me choosing wolves in sheep’s clothing and constantly being preyed upon and deceived. Ugh. Over it.

He goes on ahead of them, and his sheep follow him because they know his voice. But they will never follow a stranger; in fact, they will run away from him because they do not recognize a stranger’s voice. – John 10:4‭b-‬5 (NIV)

Scarcely had I passed them when I found the one my heart loves. I held him and would not let him go… – Song of Songs 3:4a (NIV)

You have no idea what a safe exhale of relief that second scripture is for me. It is true of my First Love, and a hopeful testimony of my second. Inserts heart eyes emoji.

Okay, that’s it. Instead of being continually anxious about this whole meeting my heart’s desire thing, I need to just address it in prayer right now. If that’s you too, then let us pray.

Lord, forgive me for being fearful. Help me to trust the authenticity of my relationship with you, check for the fruit of your spirit in others, and heed Your God-given discernment. I know that fear and love cannot live together, so I kick fear out and welcome love in Your timing. Continue to prepare me to be the woman you have destined me to be on earth as it is in heaven, bringing glory to Your great name. May I be a sheep that heeds Your voice only; undistracted by the calls of a stranger. May Thy kingdom come, and Your will be done. In the name of Yeshua, my Savior. Amen.

That’s it. That’s all.

©2019 • Chan’tel Nikole Grayson

Overwhelmed. #poetry #gratefulness #reflection

I’m loving all that You’re doing
And how my heart smiles upon my face
I’m loving all that You’re brewing
With gladness, I receive this cup by faith

I’m grateful for that which I do not know
I’m trusting Your guidance in every step
I’m grateful for this opportunity to grow
And have comfort in knowing that even Jesus, wept

I’m loving me, because I’m loving You
And this couldn’t be a better time
To pour into new wine skins
Incredible new wine

When I look into the mirror
I see You
And I’m baffled that it’s the truth
My gosh, You’re really in there shining out
You’re really my Boaz
I’m really Your Ruth

This love cannot be written
And I lack the words to fully express
I’m overwhelmed by Your sweet kindness
I’m overwhelmed by Your caress

This is what healing looks like
This is what redemption does
It takes your mess and cleans it up
It embraces
It persists
It loves

I call for a recount of God’s goodness!
I call for rejoicing for what’s to come!
I sing Hallelujah for His faithfulness!
Sing Hallelujah, everyone!

© 2017 • Chan’tel Nikole Grayson

#Ruth #Prophecy

I’m in tears…surprised much? Don’t act new, ya’ll know I’m water works! Today we got some happy tears of gratitude going on (I cry those the most). I received a prophetic word from my “uncle” today via e-mail and boy oh boy was it timely. I’ve been so blessed in my obedience to move to the East Coast. As I’ve walked by faith and not by sight the Lord has really opened up doors and windows and boxes…he’s stretching me to a new level; a place where he desires for me to be in Him. At times I’m overwhelmed, but I’m trying to remain receptive of it all…it’s coming so quickly. Pray for me.

Now, I’ve said it many times before and I’ll say it again, A prophecy is a confirmation of what you already know. I have been prayerful (and remain prayerful) throughout this entire transition and this word that he sent me aligned perfectly. He said:

Chan’tel, prophetically speaking, God showed me your new named character for the season today to share. Your name is “Ruth” and as you walk in Ruth 1:16 you will follow a great mentor in the faith. God wants to stretch you and it was required he put somebody into your life with a different experience and insight. God is raising up leaders with solutions for today’s problems and that’s why you are here.

Ruth gleaned from Naomi and got into the right field as in her leaving Moab where things were bad, to go to Bethlehem, where things are good (Richmond). *tears began flowing* Remember this Ruth moment, “So Ruth left the comfort of the familiar, stepped out in faith, and not only ended up surviving, but THRIVING. In the end she married Boaz, the OWNER OF THE FIELD, and went on to become part of the family of King David and our Lord Jesus Christ. How’s that for a turn around? God’s plan for your future involves connection with the right people (already started) and being in the right field. SO ask Him to guide you.


proph·e·cy/ˈpräfəsē/
Noun:

A prediction of what will happen in the future.
The faculty, function, or practice of prophesying.

I receive it and I receiveded it. I ask that you all continue to keep me in your prayers during this journey. When people are raised up in the world they often change negatively. My prayer is that as God raises me up in His kingdom, that I will change positively and bring many up with me.

LOVE LOVE LOVE YOU!