Grown-ish.

After watching several interesting “The Skin Deep” YouTube videos of people playing this cool card game which initiates heart conversations, I purchased a couple of card sets of my own to play with others. One of the questions asked on one of the cards was:

At what moment did you realize you found yourself?

It has been a little shy of 4 months since I have turned 32, and I have reflected and stretched so frickin’ much. Yet and still, this question was and still is complex for me. I can think of leaps in my maturity and pivotal experiences that helped me get closer to wholeness, but as I get older I realize that we’re all on a lifetime journey of becoming complete in Christ. He did the work, yes, but we are walking it out. He had to pick up His cross, and now we are picking up ours and following.

And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns. – Philippians 1:6 (NLT)

I am scratching all future new years’ resolutions and declaring that my eternal resolution is Yeshua: Jesus, My Redemptive Savior and Friend. He is truly my only Answer, Way and Hope of better. At the age of 32, all I want is The Truth without dilution or perversion. Four years ago God was teaching me that He was all that I needed, and today, He’s all that I want. .

“The grass withers and the flowers fade, but the word of our God stands forever.” – Isaiah 40:8 NLT

I am becoming increasingly sound and secure in Christ, but maybe it won’t be until age 90 or something (lol) when I can confidently say that I have *clears throat* “found myself”. Afterall, I am still discovering God. With Him as my focus, all of the rest will come, right?

While there are many childish things I have put away, there are also a few childish things that I have adopted (Matthew 18:3-4). I got a lot of questions for my King, loads of things to continue to unlearn, debunk and grasp. There are more experiences to test me and more areas of my flesh to murder. I am still exploring heaven…on earth.

“When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things. Now we see things imperfectly, like puzzling reflections in a mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely.” – 1 Corinthians 13:12-13 (NLT)

My discoveries thus far have been wonderful, peace-granting and stabilizing indeed, but I am not done. Or, not completely undone, I should say. So, if you’re anything like me…cheers to being grown-ish! It won’t always be easy unraveling, but let the adventure continue!

©2019 • Chan’tel Nikole Grayson

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iloveyou LORD #Birthdays #WashingtonDC

As you may or may not know, today, well really yesterday, was my 25th birthday. Yay!! 😀

I’m celebrating in DC this weekend but today I did exactly what I wanted to do…Not a darn thing! I know, I know, I turned 25 for goodness sakes and I’m doing nothing?! Yup, cuz It’s my birthday. No but really, I probably would have if I wasn’t so pooped. Came home from my west coast visit mid-week and from jet lag, returning to work, and then working overtime, all a sista wanted to do on her birthday was take a bubble bath ya feel me?

That leads me to the topic of my blog…
As I was relaxing in my bath I began to sing this song, “I Love You Lord”. This was probably my millionth time singing it. I used to hear my mom singing it around the house (which is probably why I do the same). It’s comforting. But anywho…

I tend to sing it when I lack the words to pinpoint exactly what I’m feeling inside. I just sing and trust that Lord can decipher (and he always does).

At that very moment the Lord brought back to my memory me; crying, bruised, and heartbroken but still forcing myself to sing this song and praise the Lord for even though the situation is bad, HE IS GOOD. In between tears and sobs the lyrics weren’t clear, but he understood even the unspoken words. I think it was probably much sweeter pushed out of a broken heart. Loving through the pain. It was encouraging. It was comforting. Take a listen, please…

Today I realized that I still sing that song for the same reason: when I lack the words to pinpoint exactly what I’m feeling inside. The best realization though was when I realized that dag, it’s been a lonnnng time since I’ve sung that song out of pain. A long time since I squeezed it out to reach the heavens. A long time since all I had was a song to sing.

It’s one thing knowing your healed, but how sweet of God is it to take the time out to show you every now and again that you are and confirm that yup, you’re healed! And I’m not even talking about the type of confirmation that communicates it’s now safe to remove the bandages. Just the random ‘ol “by the way”, those bandages fell off. Yeaaaa, they stopped sticking a long time ago while you were moving forward (that’s probably why you didn’t notice).

Wow! I can’t thank him enough. It makes me wanna sing “I Love You Lord” all over again. It’s sweet. It’s loving. It’s warm. It’s romantically intimate. It’s simply a beautiful expression. For lack of a better example, It’s like singing “Cater To You” by Destiny’s Child to your man x 10 haha…that’s horrible, but you get it, right?

So I don’t know what you’re going through, but you can certainly make it with Jesus and you certainly cannot without Him. Whoever you are, I encourage you and recommend that you praise Him through your storm and after. Sometimes we bring storms upon ourselves, ya know. We won’t be still, we’re putting idols before God (money, people, sex, drugs, time, etc.) and God is a jealous God who like us, desires to be desired. And sadly, a lot of us only desire or reach out to him as a last resort or when in need and all those people we put before him are MIA.

If you’ve never loved him before, I encourage you to get to know him so that you can. He already knows and loves you. Remember, He’s a person. A relationship with Him (or anyone) is not gonna happen overnight. Try Him.

You can start the process my accepting Jesus Christ as your savior, praying and believing a prayer stating something like this:


    “Father, I know that I have broken your laws and my sins have separated me from you. I am truly sorry, and now I want to turn away from my past sinful life toward you. Please forgive me, and help me avoid sinning again. I believe that your son, Jesus Christ died for my sins, was resurrected from the dead, is alive, and hears my prayer. I invite Jesus to become the Lord of my life, to rule and reign in my heart from this day forward. Please send your Holy Spirit to help me obey You, and to do Your will for the rest of my life. In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen.”

Best thing you could ever do. Promise.

25. #HappyBirthday

I’m turning 25 in a little over a month (December 2nd) and I have seriously thought about it all year long. As it gets closer ahhh…I’m overjoyed. I’ve pretty much began the celebration internally long ago. I’m so blessed to be both where I am and where I am not in the spiritual and natural at the age of 25. I cannot put into words how I feel about me. What a perfect age, 25, to finally feel the way that I’m feeling. The feelings and beliefs that I have about me finally reflect how God feels about me. What I’m about to say may make me sound crazy, full of it, or “cool”, but none of those are my intentions, so focus as I attempt to convey…

I love me so much *tears* and I’m so happy to have gotten to know me over these 25 years. All glory and honor goes to MY Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Jesus, I thank you for showing me what others see about me that is right and also showing all that they see that is wrong – you separated fact from fiction, helping me refute every argument that sets itself up against the knowledge of God (2 Corinth. 10:5).

You said…

      I am beautiful and there is no flaw in me… – Song of Songs 4:7
      I am wonderfully made… – Psalm 139:14
      I am above and not beneath… – Deut. 28:13
    I am blessed in the city and the country… – Deut. 28:1

My heart is full and my cup runneth over. Hallelujah! I praise your name, Jesus for my life — and life more abundantly. I hope and pray people see what you’re doing. There is no way I will walk this earth without praising you and giving you 100% credit for who, what, and why I am. There’s no me without you. You are truly doing a “new thing” Lord (Isaiah 43:18-19). “Doin me” is really “Doin you”.

My family laughs because one of my satirical little phrases I say is “I don’t receive it!” haha. I don’t even have to say it half the time, just make a face and they say it for me lol…so funny. There’s so much truth behind that little saying though. If it’s not what God says, I simply don’t receive it. If you’re not saved and you got something negative to say relating to me (really, even if it is about someone else, it relates to me because we’re brothers and sisters -another topic tho) – there’s a good chance I’ll let you talk, and not receive it ha. A smile never hurt nobody (ya’ll know I’m good at that).

My uncle said (and God pretty much did to):

“Don’t argue with fools because from a distance you can’t tell who is who.”- Fred Halstied

I quickly added it to my ginormous list of favorite quotes. I’m sure you’ve all heard the saying “all that shines/glitters isn’t gold”? Well, same thing…I don’t care if you’re fine, intelligent, famous, rich, whatever…a fool is a fool and I’m not arguing with you. There’s some fine fools walking around too. Don’t you just hate when someone is cute up until… __________________. HA! Feel free to share what you’d fill in the blank.

Anyway, I’ve said enough for the night. It’s past my bedtime. Us 25 year olds need our rest haa. I know it’s not here in the natural quite yet, but trust, it’s here. So…Happy Birthday to me! Yaaay *does happy dance*.

All I really want for my birthday is love and I believe the greatest way you can love is through prayer. Of course there’s no pressure, but If you feel led or would like to show your sister some love, feel free to shoot me an e-mail: naturallybynu@gmail.com.

I would love to list names of people who have especially made me smile and laugh and be thankful for my life, but then I’d really be up all night which is another blessing in itself. Let’s just say, If you think you “made the cut”…you’re thinking right 😉

.little mommy. #Birthday #Mom

Happy 27th Birthday to my favorite woman! XOXO!

 

She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue,
She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
“Many women do noble things,
but [my little mommy] surpasses them all.”

Proverbs 31:26-29