Hi lovas — Happy New Year!
It’s Friday night and I’m bundled up in my warm ugly snuggie looking thing. Just Jesus, tea, and me. All I need, but more importantly, finally, all that I want. There’s no place I’d rather be forever, than here in his love. I’m head over heels.
I’m so content with where I am, who I am, and all that I stand for that creates this casserole of a me –to God be the glory! I like who I see in the mirror more each day. I casually think back on old relationships that I could very well be in right now and I praise God for nights like this where I’m eternally grateful for what isn’t and what is. I have no regrets and am at peace knowing that I’ve made decisions that were best for me. Every decision you make is a destiny decision.
A little less than a year ago, I ended a pretty serious relationship with my most recent ex (I gratefully don’t have an array). It was sad and challenging at first, but a blessing to say the least. The timing was divine and allowed for the protection of my heart and perspective on it all. Had it been sooner or later, things would have been all jacked. My entry, “The Results Are In…” was a beautiful result of the end.
The enemy makes me sick perverting everything in sight. But, what the enemy intends for harm, God faithfully turns around for good. Geesh, Where would I be if not for the unmerited favor of God upon my life? I’ve learned so much about what I want and need in a relationship. I’ve learned the bottom line. What will absolutely work and what will absolutely not. It saves me so much time and heartache. I like to think of it all as God’s little evacuation plan. All it required was that I evacuate. He took me to safety, showed me who I was, and re-defined my definition of “settle” and “standard”. A definition not so much according to what I’ve been through, but according to the respectable woman I am. I’m still learning.
Have you ever missed someone who was in the same room as you? That’s how I was beginning to feel in my relationship with God as I got deeper in this relationship with this man of God. I felt like God was so far, when truthfully He was just right over there in the corner watching me and missing me back. It showed me that even being in opposite corners of a room is way too far for me. I’m a Rae sheep and I can’t do far in the slightest; it’s agonizing. I need to bump up against My Shepherd’s side when He walks. I need to feel when He’s moving at all times. I don’t want a jacket, I need His warmth. It’s funny ’cause I’m a huge daddy’s girl on earth as well. So big kudos to him for how great of a relationship I’ve been able to develop with my Heavenly Father because of his great example. As a little girl, If he was grabbing his shoes, guess who had hers…yup, Nu Nu haha. He had cereal, I waited patiently on his lap to drink his milk afterwards (yuck lol). I was content in his presence. Check out my post, “Fathers” for more on this — you can see the nostalgia even then. I missed My Abba :(…
If God is love, then we should never be in love and missing God. (1 John 4:8)
To each its own, and to each its walk, but If you’re a Christian, I want to ask you this…Why consciously choose to be half anything? Set a standard for yourself before you do for anyone else. Stop talking about how you’re not gonna settle for anyone and start with not settling for you. We have work to do and by God’s grace we can do it. Choose this day whom you shall serve and serve well (Joshua 24:15). For me and my house, we will serve the Lord. Ha…the way this world is looking I just might be the only one in my house. Haha jk. Seriously though, just grow. Less talking and more doing. Wanting what you need and all you need is a mature thing to want, and you have to kill your flesh to accomplish it. Not easy it, but worth it.
Need > Want
“I have learned over the years that when one’s mind is made up, this diminishes fear.” – Rosa Parks
Do I want to get married to a man who loves the Lord as much as I do and is truly ‘about that life’? Absolutely. Do I want children to laugh, play with and make me sound like my mother? Of course. Does it seem impossible? Yup lol (just being honest). But I’m safe in God’s hands. I know what I want, I know what I need, and I know what I’m promised. God is faithful. It is my prayer that one day my man will find me on this narrow road that me and a few others travel and meet me in my Savior’s arms (Matt 7:13-14). But until then, it’ll be just Jesus, tea, and me. Not too shabby, eh? 😉