Check, please! #HeartCheck

 

Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. – Proverbs 4:23

I had a vision last night and as much I don’t want to admit this gory thing…Isn’t that what a blog is all about?

In the vision The Lord showed me my heart and half of it was protected, but the other half was kind of outside of me and gnat-like bugs were swarming around it like it would an open piece of fruit. The sight of it was almost unbearable! My spirit squirmed. Gross! How could that be me?! I knew it was though, and I wanted out of this scary vision.

I knew what it meant. I needed to guard my heart. I needed to re-check myself. I needed to realize that I’m not exempt from the toxicity of this world. I am now convinced, and rightfully so, that we are all at risk for contamination if we don’t guard what flows into our hearts. For what flows in, will certainly flow out!
I don’t know about you, but I can’t afford it. Too many souls at stake.

I’m not a big t.v. person, but lately I’d been watching a lot more of it. Nothing crazily inappropriate or anything, but a little unwholesome stuff here and there, easily equates to a lot (or enough) of wholesome stuff! As I reflect…I then found myself listening to a little more secular music, reading a little more magazines, being entertained by a little more of those tweets and few more of those Instagram pics…Are you getting me?

Worldly stuff. Stuff that matters none! I’m so sick of “stuff” that I could just burn my phone right now! Ok, maybe not…I need it to blog ūüėČ

…let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven. – Matthew 5:16

As Christians, we need to make sure that we’re not blending with the world. Because when we do, we stop trending in the Kingdom of God. No bueno! Check, please!

Dreams, visions, and prophecies, are nothing to be worried or afraid about, especially when you have an active prayer life. I believe they’re just another form of God’s little ways of putting us earthly folks in the know of what’s really going on in the spirit-realm. They’re his way of putting things on our radar and prayer list. It’s God’s way of supporting us and showing us just how much he cares. When this happens, we should prayerfully seek Him for clarity and understanding.

I tend to get hard on myself, but you know what, as long as we live lives of repentance and accept the fact that we will always fall short. When we delight in The Lord and strive to get it right, whatever our “it” is, He will be honored.

Remember that Jesus paid our gory bill long ago. All we have to do is say, “Check, please!” and be willing to let Him pay yet again.

Love you and praying for us both!

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No worries, I’m fine. #Praise #Worship

“But thou art holy, O thou that inhabitest the praises of Israel.” – Psalm 22:3

I’m¬†on my lunch break and I’m¬†really full.¬† Not full of food though (Although it sure was bomb!).¬† I’m full of Christ.¬† His love overwhelms me — all parts of Him and who He is.¬† Oh, my beloved, how grateful I am that you are mine, and I yours!¬† We praise You on today for your goodness, mercy, and unfailing love!

Like I said, I’m on my lunch break.¬† I’m in tears¬†and my make-up is officially jacked.¬† No worries, I’m fine.¬† As usual, I’ve been basking in the presence of the Lord, chatting it up with King Jesus and loving me some Him.¬† I’m really¬†full.¬† Now I can let it out like I want to.¬† As I awakened this morning, I invited the Lord into¬†my room with song.¬† I sang, “You Are Good” in my crusty, not-so-Kari Jobe-like morning voice.¬† (I overuse that word ‘crusty’ by the way) The Lord loved it too.¬† I love that He loves me.¬†¬†He¬†saw beyond the¬†voice and zoomed into¬†the thought, the effort, the motive, the heart.¬† That’s what counts.¬† I began with this part of the song…

Everyday I’ll awaken my praise and pour out a song from my heart

You are good, You are good, You are good and your mercy is forever

I absolutely love praising God.¬† It comes easy and gives me great joy to do so.¬† But I do understand that what comes easy to some doesn’t come as easy for others.¬† I also understand that practice and desire to overcome – the¬†decision to overcome,¬†has power.¬† At times when I’m worshiping with the music ministry,¬†I’m amazed at how¬†some can just sit or stand (at least they’re standing) and watch you praise the Lord.¬† No participation.

¬†Your breakthrough is never contingent on the praise of someone else, and God’s habitat is only as large as you build it.¬†

Big praise, produces a big environment,¬†making room for a big¬†God.¬† That’s what we want.¬† Kick rocks Satan!¬† If you’re not used to opening your mouth and praising God, that’s okay.¬† But¬†I can assure¬†you that the enemy would love for you to never get used to it.¬† There’s power in your praise; power in words period.¬† Praise tears down walls, kills giants, and socks the devil in throat.¬† You don’t have to start with a song like I did this morning.¬† You can start with a “Thank You Lord”, an “I love you Jesus”, a “You are worthy God”.¬† Better yet, start with the highest praise – Hallelujah!¬† You can start now.¬† Trust me, like you and I, He loves to be wooed and will express His gratitude.

I can’t speak for the praise of anyone else, but this is a little about mine.¬† (Not really sure why I’m sharing it, but let’s roll with it).

My heart often speaks to the Lord in tears. My most deepest and heartfelt prayers for you, others, and myself are in the form of tears. Whatever¬†it is that I’m praying and seeking God for, I want it so deeply, so badly, that it moves me to tears.¬† Each drop, a petition.¬† Then at other times, my most deepest and heartfelt thanks and gratitude unto God for all He has ever done and is forever doing presently and in advance¬†is also in the form of tears.¬† I have huge faith and I truly believe that every petition that I’ve launched into the heavens in Jesus’ name, I do have. I see it in the spirit realm and hold onto His¬†promises.¬† No take-backs, just miracles.¬† I’m speechless and in awe, and I cry.¬† Each¬†drop, a¬†thank you for [insert petition here].¬† This sometimes turns into a shout or jump (and a crazy ‘Oh my gosh is she okay?’ look to be actually asked later smh).¬† Shout out to the Holy Spirit for that one.¬† I’m not complaining.¬† I’m not embarrassed.¬† It’s all good with me, because my God is all good to me.¬† This had to be where the phrase “Oh My Goodness” came from lol.

At church I love sitting at the end of the row (doesn’t happen all the time, but I do). I like it because I can scoot over near or into the aisle and not allow for my praise to be hindered in any way.¬† Arms out as far as I can stretch them? yes, please (that’s what they’re for).

So the next time you see me praising the Lord, don’t trip.¬† I’m just¬† a worshiper washing my Savior’s feet with my tears.¬† The oil in my alabaster box is costly, my friend.¬† No worries, I’m fine.

The #CYCLE is #NEW. #NewBeginnings

“Therefore if anyone is in Christ, they are a new creation, the old has gone and the new has come.” – 2 Corinthians 5:17

Good morning.  I was awaken the other morning by words in my spirit that declared..ELEVATE!

Even my alarm sounds new, like an alarm of elevation.¬† As I rise physically, I awaken to arise spiritually.¬† This is our short conversation…
God: “The cycle is new. “
Me: “The cycle is new?”
God: “Elevate, the cycle is new.”
water cycle
I thought it strange that a cycle would be new when a cycle is quite the opposite.  Repetitive, predictable, boring even.  I looked up the word.
Cycle: A series of events that are regularly repeated in the same order.
Just as I thought.¬† I was reminded of the water cycle and imagined what would happen if that circular flow of evaporation, condensation, and precipitation was new.¬† What would happen if just one day that way of life that you’ve always known was just suddenly no more.¬† I looked up the word.
New: Not of long duration; having just (or relatively recently) come into being or been made or acquired or discovered.
Wow, today was the day for all of that. Today the wheels stopped turning the same ‘ol way.¬† Today there was a shift granting transformation.¬† A new beginning and permanent way of life like never before.¬† I receive it and call it blessed.¬† Nu is New!

“Rib Tip”#Wife #Husband #TheStory

So lately I’ve really been wanting to get into my word differently.¬† Not just randomly ya know? I mean, nothing wrong with that but I just want more.¬† I’m hungry.¬† I don’t mind bouncing around and re-reading this chapter and going back to that book, but it seems like it would all just stick differently after having read the entire thing.¬† I’ve never read the entire bible.¬† I’ve attempted many times, but just never¬†seemed to complete the task.¬† I would all of a sudden get bored of some parts, couldn’t follow others as well out of sequence, or¬†come across a certain book of the bible¬†that just was not an easy read for me.¬† I know there are supplements and chronological bibles, and different versions…but I wanted something really suited for me, not just another suggestion that sounds up my alley, ya know?¬† You know those bible in a year plans?¬† Yea, it’s like I start, doing well, and¬†then I take¬†a detour.¬† Remember that movie,¬†“A¬†Bug’s Life”?¬† All of this reminds me of that part where the bug is flying and¬†then loses focus because it’s¬†attracted to the light and gets zapped lol.¬† Yup, I’m sick of getting zapped.

Hmm…maybe¬†the free spirit in me just doesn’t have an appreciation for¬†the “helpful”¬†guide telling me to read these 3 chapters in Daniel¬†on Tuesday¬†when maybe I feel like reading¬†James this Tuesday.¬† I spiced it up a bit and now I’m off the plan lol.¬† I can only do monotony in moderation.¬† All that being said…*drumroll*….I’ve began reading “The Story” by Max Lucado & Randy Frazee.¬† It’s just that too…a chronological bible in the form of a story.¬† Yes! I hope I’ve found a winner.

The Story Bible White

So in The¬†Story, like the bible it starts with the beginning (Genesis) when God created the heavens, the earth, Adam and all that good stuff.¬† All of a sudden I became fascinated with this fact that I’ve known for years.¬† Fascinated with how beautiful it was¬†for a woman to be created from such an awesome part of the man’s¬†body that indeed does help and support,¬†as us women are built and purposed to do for our husbands.¬† I love the picture that it paints.

“But for Adam no suitable helper was found. So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and then closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.”

As many of you probably know, the ribs surround the chest and in turn¬†protect the body’s heart, lungs, and internal organs.¬† That’s a lot! Like the ribs, wives aid and protect¬†their husbands in¬†often the¬†most gentle of ways.¬† His lungs¬†which give him breath to live…and his heart, the¬†origin of all matters of his being.¬† If those organs aren’t intact, neither is he. If he’s our leader and he’s not intact, shoot, neither are we.¬† That’s “one”.¬† That’s a great responsibility.¬† To be called a wife or a husband is such a high calling that I think gets taken way too lightly.¬† It’s never to early or late to start praying for your spouse.¬† You love them, right?¬† Prayer is the most loving thing you can do.¬† It covers a multitude.

Now, I was married years ago…yea yea yea¬†but I don’t even feel like it.¬† I mean I recognize that it was big¬†and it’s definitely one of those things that I would talk about in¬†it’s entirety with my future husband, but¬†It’s really like a childhood memory now, in the past.¬† I’m just sooo different from that girl back then, I’ve been single longer than I was ever married, and¬†that ending¬†was one of the best things that ever happened to me.¬† It brought me¬†back to my first love appropriately and I began¬†transforming and growing as I¬†moved forward.¬† I’m new.¬† If you’ve ever moved forward, then you know very well that moving forward requires that you don’t look back.¬† God’s funny though, because then he’ll “bring you back” just to show you that you’ve moved forward.¬† So sweet, I love it.

But back to the rib.¬† So the rib is this super great part with a great role, right? but the fascinating part was that God created more than just a rib.¬† God created and entire being of it’s own.¬† A beautifully made woman perfectly suited.¬† I can see God now molding and shaping all the curves inside and out.¬† She went from good to great in His hands.¬† I’m sure Adam woke up like “heeeey” haha.¬† In the words of my best friend “Get you some of that” lol.

At my church, a man who desires and is looking for a wife is jokingly said to be “looking for a rib” haha. And so, whenever a guy is interested in me that I have no interest in, I jokingly say to¬†myself, “Uh uh…I ain’t your rib!” We will not be making eye contact. You better pay attention to the sermon! lol…really though.

Now I’m no expert, but¬†I¬†do have pretty good relationship experience.¬† In thinking of how wonderful a man and a woman are apart, I can’t help but think about the beauty in them being together.¬† So¬†here’s a “Rib Tip” If I may for singles like myself…

Fellas¬†— If you want a good rib, I recommend you be a good and faithful steward and gardener¬†in the small areas.¬† Take care of¬†all that the Lord has already blessed you with.¬† While you do have to pursue and make your presence known, if she’s a wise woman you don’t have to try hard to get noticed.¬† A wise woman is not easily fooled and sees what matters.¬† It’s your choice to make that work for you or against you.¬† If she’s interested, I hope she’s praying for you.¬† If you’ve already¬†found your¬†soon to be rib, awesome!¬† Remember that loving her is truly loving yourself.¬† If you’re garbage, so is she.¬† If you don’t have it together, don’t expect her to either.

Ladies — The bible said a man findeth a wife, so if you’re looking for a man (or wearing nothing to get his attention), cut that out.¬† You are who you attract.¬† I don’t believe looking for him is your job.¬† Eve didn’t choose Adam, God chose Eve for Adam.¬† Let your man receive from the Lord on who his wife is.¬† Hold on to that truth…he’ll come.¬† And truthfully, who knows, he might already be there and you not realize it.¬† Some of the best relationships begin as friendships.¬† Pray that he finds you in God’s timing and that you are both¬†prepared when¬†he does.¬† Focus on loving the everlasting man you already have and should be your world, Jesus.¬† If you’re in a relationship, stay honest with yourself and your partner.¬† The second you recognize you’re not his rib, save the heartache and end it. It can turn into mess that God won’t bless.¬† Some days it’s annoying and you want¬†your fairy tale prince to hurry up and awaken you from your slumber, I know.¬† But that’s not real, and you don’t want anything half-baked.¬† Easier said than done but just¬†keep praying, sitting pretty, loving God, and loving people.¬† Forever is a long time – that’s how long you want with him, right? Well I promise this wait won’t be as long.¬† I love you and I’m praying for us.¬† Have a blessed day! ūüôā

 

Funk; Four Weddings & 5 Stages #Grief

Hey there lovas! I missed ya! It feels good to be back, writing, and doing what I love…sharing a little bit of me in hopes of connecting with even a few of you in some sort of way. ¬†For the record, I’m still under construction, and will be for the rest of my life (S/O to my bff for that reminder haha). ¬†That being said today is as good as tomorrow to talk about well, whatever.¬† Let’s do it. YOLO!! Lol.

As you know, I’m on the Westsiiiide…and I was in a major funk upon arrival (check the archive and see for yourself). ¬†Since then, I’ve figuratively lit some candles, sprayed some air freshener and have molded my thizz face into a pretty darn good smile.

Lately the Lord has been really dealing with me about unrealistic expectations; a huge recipe for disappointment (that’s a separate blog in itself).¬† To keep a long story short, I’ve quickly learned that basically no one can be Jesus for me, but Jesus.¬† I’m imperfect and so is everybody else.¬† Jesus is the only one who can fill those voids that we all have and it’s unfair to expect anyone else to do His job.¬† Those voids are there by purpose for a purpose.

The greatest thing about this season is what the Lord has been showing me about myself. Stuff that I was truly unaware of and really disappointed and hard on myself about once learned.¬† Even though I was disappointed, He wasn’t, because He knows our hearts. ¬†I was and am always striving to be a better me (a lifetime heart desire) and He was helping me do just that.¬† So, I repented and accepted His grace for the gajillionth time.¬† Sooo humbling yo!¬† I’m so appreciative and feel so loved when He corrects me.¬† He does it right.¬† Chastisement is definitely a good thing sometimes.

During this process of, let’s call it “dealership” ha…I happened to be watching this show on TLC called Four Weddings.¬† If you haven’t heard of it, it’s basically a competitive show where four brides attend each others’ weddings, rate them in categories, and the winning bride (and groom) enjoy a¬† honeymoon to a surprise destination.¬† One day I was watching it and one of the brides who lost spoke of her disappointment afterwards.¬† She casually yet honestly said something like, “There’s 5 stages of grief, right? I’d say I’m in the anger stage”. *gasp* That was it!¬† I googled it — 5 stages of grief:

1) Denial & Isolation
2) Anger
3) Bargaining
4) Depression
5) Acceptance

I was grieving.¬† Shoooot, I was grieving things I didn’t even know that I needed to grieve!¬† But, understanding these stages gave me hope and really drove me. ¬†I could do something with my new found knowledge (Hosea 4:6) and about my temporary situation.¬† I could pray better, I could be better. ¬†I was and am determined.¬† My armor had gotten oiled and I had some extra fuel for the fight. Y’all ain’t ready!!¬† haha

For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways, says the Lord.” – Isaiah 55:8

I love how spontaneously the Holy Spirit ministers to God’s children and how there’s no defined or uniform way that he speaks and that we (individuals) in turn, hear.¬† Yes, even on the couch!¬† Try God.¬† Invite Him to sit next to you.¬† Like me, 4 Weddings & 5 stages can rescue you out of a funk. (you get me!).¬† Receive it.¬† Believe it.

He who has ears to hear, let him be listening and let him consider and perceive and comprehend by hearing. – Matt 11:15

Keep prayin’ for a sista!¬† Love Love Love you!

Half-Baked #Growth #Maturity #Relationships

I’m always talking about how our relationships can be better. How the Lord desires to prosper them and how we should desire the same as He. But, you know what?

To whom much is given, much is required. (Luke 12:48)… and to be quite honest, too many people walk around wanting much and not wanting to give what’s frickin’ required let alone anything. They want to have the cake and eat it too. They want all the good and it maybe it shouldn’t annoy me, but I love them and it does. I want better for people just like I want better for me. They glide through life with an air or¬†sense of entitlement about them. When in all actuality, this life has never been solely about us. We wouldn’t need anyone if that was so. They appear to be fully baked but their gooey in the middle simply ’cause their butts didn’t wanna stay in the oven as long as the other cookies. It makes me wanna climb at the top of the mountain and yell “Just stay in the frickin oven, dag!”. But one thing is for sure is that you can’t make anyone be passionate about something that you are. Your passion is your passion. My passion is growth…overcoming…being better. I try not to get upset, but dag, I know the benefit of it and I want people to have that. I want people to want that, so they can strive for that, and have that. That’s what I want. I want us to celebrate our victories together. Yay!! I want to save the world, maybe even from themselves.

Now, I know people get by and we have free will and sometimes make whack choices. We develop friendships and romantic relationships with people who truthfully we don’t deserve or don’t deserve us. It is what it is. For whatever reason, God allows it and really His grace is just so darn sufficient that we get a lot of breaks. Do something with them though! Seriously, I feel like crying right now because there’s so many of you out there who have blessings in store for you that you will never obtain because of your unwillingness to truly submit unto God like you’ve never have before. To truly lay down what you want for what He wants. To truly say okay, you’re the boss, I’ll be still…let’s get uncomfortable and let’s face it.

“If you want a butterfly you’ve got to be a butterfly” – India.Arie

Now I’m not perfect, but I don’t consider myself half-baked. However, if you’ve consulted with God and He considers me half-baked, He’s right lol. One thing that I can attest is that I am determined to be fully baked and so I am in Jesus’ name. Being better than yesterday is not an option. Since I’m not a fan of a half-baked me, I certainly don’t want to be in any kind of half-baked relationships…at least not forever. They can only have potential for so long before you realize it ain’t happenin’!

I’m in tears. Bittersweet tears. I’ve always heard and received that “it takes two”, but recently I’ve reached the sad realization of that statement. It doesn’t matter how hard¬†we try or how long we bake, the success of any type of relationship is an unrealistic expectation when the focus is only on the growth of one individual. Success is much, and to whom much is given, much is required. You’ve heard it before…actions speak louder than words. We can’t do it alone. It will forever take two and I am only one.

So however your relationships are — surfaced, deep and lasting, decide where you want it to go…accept the truth regarding where it is and where it’s heading, and do what you gotta do.

My pastor back home said something like…the things our spirit wants to do in that lead to breakthrough will never agree with our flesh. That’s the type of season we’re in guys. Make wise choices. I’m praying for you.

So even after allllll of that gumbo, I say…we shall still remain hopeful in all things because God is a miracle worker and an exception to the “It takes two” statement. He can do what He wants, and sometimes even the slightest of decisions that we make can change our destiny.¬† Be hopeful. Accept the truth. Keep growing. Move forward and realize that sometimes, sometimes people are just in our lives for seasons. Or, sometimes they’re just half-baked and are never gonna stay in that daggon oven!

My Own Place.

For the longest I’ve wanted my own place… A place to call my own.¬† No roommate, just me.¬† My own kitchen to¬†clean up or dirty up, to cook up¬†everything or nothing at all and try out all of The Divine Hostess’ fabulous recipes hehe.¬† A place to entertain loved ones and make them feel at home away from home.¬† A place to¬†blast music and dance naked (yea, I said it) and bring sexy back like no tomorrow.¬† Or really…just a cozy blessed environment for¬†your achy breaky heart.¬† Come over for a hug, a laugh, a movie, a chat, a meal, prayer…but call first (lol).¬† My very own place that I earned, I paid for, and I’m proud of…even if there is¬†nothing in it.

Until recently (last year) the Lord finally gave me revelation that wherever I go, He will make sure that I always have my own place. Yes!  I was happy.  But then I started thinking wait, what does that mean??  haha.

For the longest I’ve wanted my own place… but to be perfectly honest, I don’t think the Lord ever wants me to live alone. Ha…I think He knows I’d like it too much.¬† I’d get comfortable and use to things being my way and when the time came to share a space with someone else, a spouse perhaps, I might not be¬†as successful as I’d like in compromising and changing my bachelorette mentality.¬† He wants me around people.¬† While I love people, I do¬†love my alone time and I get quite antsy when I’m deprived of it. I’m a thinker and pray-er for goodness sake!¬† I like to read, write, listen, meditate¬†and often in pure silence.¬† I need that sanctuary.

Any way…I still don’t have my own place and in fact, after¬†much prayer and going back and forth with the Lord, I have surrendered to His plan for me in many different ways lately, the most recent being¬†to move back to the West Coast with my family (not in my own place) for such a time as this.¬† I feel like I’m just returning to headquarters or the corporate office for a bit to recharge before my next “earth camp adventure” (as one of my spiritual mothers calls it).¬† Don’t ask me where, I have no idea.¬† But, I’m open and I’ll keep ya posted.

This is ministry. My ministry.

The hardest thing about this type of ministry or missionary work is leaving.¬† As soon we get comfortable and our “work is done”, the Lord moves us *tears*.¬† As soon as we meet people that we want to be in our lives forever *tears* He takes them or us away. It hurts so badly. It’s like jerking people apart in mid-hug.¬† I wasn’t ready for it this time.¬† I wasn’t ready for it.¬† It’s hard to give answers to questions that you don’t have the answers to yourself.¬† Then to top it off, the enemy tries to harass you with lies and guilt and make you feel bad about following God’s will and reminds you of all the people you’re hurting in choosing this way.¬† He knows your gifts too and jumps at the opportunity to capitalize on them.¬† But, whatever.¬† I’m¬†choosing God’s way¬†and my mind is made up.¬† Can you see the struggle though? *shrugs shoulders* That’s where I am.

In the spirit realm, when we down here don’t release someone in our hearts, when we don’t free them or support them in doing what God wants to do in their lives, a struggle can arise. The flow of The Holy Spirit is interrupted for justifiably selfish reasons and things don’t sail as smooth. We move forward with an easy pass but still have to stop and pay tolls. We move forward with a rock stuck in our skates. We move forward wearing heavy snow boots in no snow. Just help us out; release us.

I feel myself wanting to ramble, so I’m gonna be wise and wrap it up.

I just hope and pray that the Lord would at least allow my distance to not disconnect.¬† That the love I’ve found in all of these relationships will¬†remain mutual, and that we can always be a positive something that looks forward to catching up, swapping stories, and seeing each other again.

So in obedience…I count down the days.

I very much believe¬†that¬†Father knows best so forever I will roll with and agree with His perspective.¬† For now, “I’m okay” awaiting to be “great”….and I still want my own place LOL. Just being honest.