Hey there lovas! I missed ya! It feels good to be back, writing, and doing what I love…sharing a little bit of me in hopes of connecting with even a few of you in some sort of way. For the record, I’m still under construction, and will be for the rest of my life (S/O to my bff for that reminder haha). That being said today is as good as tomorrow to talk about well, whatever. Let’s do it. YOLO!! Lol.
As you know, I’m on the Westsiiiide…and I was in a major funk upon arrival (check the archive and see for yourself). Since then, I’ve figuratively lit some candles, sprayed some air freshener and have molded my thizz face into a pretty darn good smile.
Lately the Lord has been really dealing with me about unrealistic expectations; a huge recipe for disappointment (that’s a separate blog in itself). To keep a long story short, I’ve quickly learned that basically no one can be Jesus for me, but Jesus. I’m imperfect and so is everybody else. Jesus is the only one who can fill those voids that we all have and it’s unfair to expect anyone else to do His job. Those voids are there by purpose for a purpose.
The greatest thing about this season is what the Lord has been showing me about myself. Stuff that I was truly unaware of and really disappointed and hard on myself about once learned. Even though I was disappointed, He wasn’t, because He knows our hearts. I was and am always striving to be a better me (a lifetime heart desire) and He was helping me do just that. So, I repented and accepted His grace for the gajillionth time. Sooo humbling yo! I’m so appreciative and feel so loved when He corrects me. He does it right. Chastisement is definitely a good thing sometimes.
During this process of, let’s call it “dealership” ha…I happened to be watching this show on TLC called Four Weddings. If you haven’t heard of it, it’s basically a competitive show where four brides attend each others’ weddings, rate them in categories, and the winning bride (and groom) enjoy a honeymoon to a surprise destination. One day I was watching it and one of the brides who lost spoke of her disappointment afterwards. She casually yet honestly said something like, “There’s 5 stages of grief, right? I’d say I’m in the anger stage”. *gasp* That was it! I googled it — 5 stages of grief:
1) Denial & Isolation
I was grieving. Shoooot, I was grieving things I didn’t even know that I needed to grieve! But, understanding these stages gave me hope and really drove me. I could do something with my new found knowledge (Hosea 4:6) and about my temporary situation. I could pray better, I could be better. I was and am determined. My armor had gotten oiled and I had some extra fuel for the fight. Y’all ain’t ready!! haha
“For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways, says the Lord.” – Isaiah 55:8
I love how spontaneously the Holy Spirit ministers to God’s children and how there’s no defined or uniform way that he speaks and that we (individuals) in turn, hear. Yes, even on the couch! Try God. Invite Him to sit next to you. Like me, 4 Weddings & 5 stages can rescue you out of a funk. (you get me!). Receive it. Believe it.
He who has ears to hear, let him be listening and let him consider and perceive and comprehend by hearing. – Matt 11:15
Keep prayin’ for a sista! Love Love Love you!