I’ve been reflecting a lot on my relationships past and present and I slowly began coming up with a list of things I’ve learned about myself (likes and dislikes) as a result of them. So, I’ll call them The Results. Some of them I’ve learned, some have moved up or down in rank of importance, and some I’ve re-learned. Here it goes. Order has no significance.
1) I can wear flats for the rest of my life and be a happy camper ha. Ridiculously learned.
2) The absence of affection in a relationship with me is a deal breaker. I love being touched and if I tried, I bet I could remember every last one.
3) I really do love comedy. Such a beautiful ministry serving the best meds all day errday. Re-learned.
4) Emotional support and validity of feelings is a big need for me. Deal breaker. I didn’t know this until I didn’t have this. Sometimes I don’t need advice or something to be fixed. I just need a hug and a reminder that everything’s gonna be alright.
5) I don’t like doing the same thing over and over unless there’s a good reason. I’m adventurous and like to do spontaneous things big and small. Let’s Go!! Re-learned.
6) No matter how much I’ve been hurt, I know that I can love again, and even harder than before. It’s a miracle. Learned.
7) I’m old fashioned about a lot of things and the complete opposite about other things. I know, that kinda made no sense.
8) I believe a guy should always open doors for his lady (and walking down the stairs first is a plus). She’s his queen forever. Do it forever.
9) I believe a lady should serve her man his plate before her own if that’s his preference. He’s her king forever. Do it forever.
10) I’m a sucker for a gentleman (duh!) and I’m grateful to have been with one who set a standard for many things.
11) Speaking of standards, I have a hard time getting down with double standards.Ugh.
12) When a man is protective of me in a caring way I feel delicate and right; a purposed type of feeling. Love it. Learned.
13) I’d never ask for them, but I really like receiving flowers. In fact, I like them so much that I take random pictures of flowers all the time — I guess it’s my way of giving them to myself ha.
14) Quality time is my primary love language and my love tank is on E without it. Deal Breaker.
15) I’m a woman with a plan who loves a man with a plan.
16) I can’t compromise with a non-compromiser. Oddly, those are the ones who always seem to want you to compromise. They win without an argument. I don’t think there’s a valid justification. Deal Breaker.
17) Pleasant surprises are the best and make for excellent memories. Grateful to have some of those in my memory bank. Got Ginkgo Biloba?
18) I don’t like my man driving my car if he has one of his own. Matter of fact, If he doesn’t have his own, he’s not my man. LOL…Deal breaker. Learned.
19) I don’t like unexpected interruptions and change of plans. They’re inevitable, I know, but the ones that aren’t and are just a result of poor planning, inconsideration, or selfishness bother the heck out of me even if I don’t express it.
20) I believe a man should assume that he’s paying and be prepared to do so unless he’s told otherwise.
21) I’m still a planner and I still like to know all the details. I’m willing to compromise, but I would love for you to not make me lol. It has nothing to do with you and everything to do with who I am and how I’m wired. Truth.
22) I still can’t stand being cut off. I know many don’t, but I’ve come to the conclusion that I don’t because I’ve never been a big talker or one to waste my breath any way. So when I do choose to speak, it will be just as wise of you to listen to me as it is for me to choose the timing and content. Respect.
23) All of that goes out the window when I’m sleepy. Shut me up please lol.
24) I really like thoughtful gestures (both tangible & intangible). They’re gifts and non- verbal ways of communicating that I’m loved and still as special as the day you met me.
25) That being said, I loathe “I’m Sorry” gifts. Especially if you’ve never gotten me one for any other reason. Fellas, “Just Because” all the way..I’m tellin’ you!
26) I’m still not a tic for tac type of gal and I hope I never become that. That would be conditional love or expression.
27) A great preference of mine is to not go to bed upset or with unresolved junk and I put effort towards it. Proud of myself. Learned.
28) I can live out of a suitcase and travel with the love of my life forever. I guess my creative side enjoys the rustic challenge. Like making yourself look sexy and taking care of business with just that. Yup, that’s all I had. I know, somethin like a G (haha). Re-learned.
29) I need a man who will pray with me and for me. I need a man who loves the Lord as much as I do and will not compete consciously or unconsciously with that relationship. Deal Breaker.
30) I’m still a sensitive being and I don’t apologize. I’m grateful for the knowledge of #4 (scroll up) and I’m focusing on the pros.