#Fathers

Recent conversations have got me thinking about my relationship with my dad, how wonderful it is is now, how not-so-wonderful it was, and just how I think, in general, a father’s relationship with their children should be. The Lord has definitively performed life-changing miracles in me and my Paw’s (that’s what I call him) relationship within only these past couple of years, really. And the crazy thing is, it feels like it’s always been like this. But it certainly hasn’t, and I remember crying out to the Lord and praying specifically for a better relationship with my dad – it seemed impossible. Me & Paw, we’re proof that it’s not too late. We’re proof that prayer is powerful, when we actually pray for things. You have not because you ask not. I asked, and if you need a miracle, I encourage you to ask as well.

Let me give you a lil’ mini course on Paw 101 – past and present ha…
My Paw is awesome (I’m biased). He’s perfectly imperfect in my eyes (oxymoron). Being very little I thought he was amazingly flawless. If he grabbed his shoes, I grabbed mine. He grabbed his motorcycle helmet, I grabbed mine (that’s right…somethin like a G even at that age ha). I couldn’t talk much and he didn’t talk much. We were content with each others existence and that was fine. As I got older with more needs and an extended vocabulary (ha) I viewed him as a hard worker who always felt the need to do something…too much half the time, very authoritative and direct (not bad, just a style), seemingly insensitive and emotionless, consistent, physically supportive (I can’t think of a sporting event where I didn’t see my dad yelling in the stands…aww), yet emotionally unsupportive, strong, an excellent provider and caregiver, television extraordinaire (ha), uncomfortably mute – yet great story-teller, and hungry lol. I knew that even if we had nothing Daddy would find a way for us to have something. In that, I was secure. He communicated his love with acts of service. I never met my grandfather on my dad’s side, but based on stories Daddy had told, they were just alike, and I love them both so much.

Today my Paw is positively different and so am I. I appreciate a lot of the things that have not changed and I am soooo grateful for the things that have. We have a better understanding of each other and are actively loving each other and alike in a lot of ways. I look forward to having kids one day and watching all of us get a second chance. I think that’s what’s beautiful about babies. They have no historical record of us and we can essentially start over and appear to always have been ridiculously awesome and are (hopefully) encouraged to be even more awesome for whatever life we will be entrusted with following.

After my divorce when I lost my husband and no one else’s love could fill my void and ease my pain, God became someone that I realized He had not always been. It was crazy because I thought we (God and I) were good. We were. I was a person who loved the Lord and had served Him for a long time. But you know what, we can always be better. Our relationships can always be better and He showed me this. We’re not done yet. We don’t graduate until we get to heaven.

God became my everything. He loved me and treated me so well. He was interested in me, He communed with me and fellowshipped with me and it wasn’t always in a religious way. We went on dates, we read together, we ate together, we shopped together, we watched tv together, we went to the marina together, we went to the beach together…you name it. Even when I knew I was going to be with others, I invited Him along and He was happy to come.  I genuinely enjoyed His company. He became my husband, friend, dad, counselor, comforter, instructor, corrector and disciplinarian, inspirer, homie and all in the most loving way. My relationship with Him had went to another level and I realized how things were supposed to be. This was unconditional love.…and if we’re created in His image and Christ is to be modeled, my relationships can be better and are purposed to be better and an epitome of what God has shown me. So I prayed hard for me and all of those I had relationships with (and I’m still praying). I was/am inspired and I refused/refuse to settle for mediocrity. I don’t receive it!

My God is a loving God who desires to prosper you in all areas including your relationships. He is a mender and restorer of hearts and can sit in all seats and fulfill all roles that you need. I promise you. Teach and Be Teachable (check out that post).

While me and Paw aren’t perfect, and never will be, God has not left the miracle business and we’re definitely striving and smiling. This song has always reminded me of him <3…Enjoy!

xo,
Nu*

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2 thoughts on “#Fathers

  1. Amazing post as usual. I think the moment we can look our dads and realize they are men–though exceptionally lovable, they are fallible– that’s the moment we see men without looking for perfection. We can be in a mature relationship with balanced expectations. My relationship with my dad has improved over the years too and I can attribute that to God not being finished with any of us as you righty noted. Xo

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  2. Thank you. You’re so right about the balanced expectations. Such a huge eye opener and reminder that God is still working on me and has tons he wants me to learn about myself and others.

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